eHrrival

 

it's weird to be back on this blog.

honestly i had no idea how to access it, but of course google makes it all too easy. just the idea of "blogging" feels about a decade old (or more), which is appropriate given the subject matter here.

10 years back, i was gearing up for my first real fixed-axle endurance experiment. one wooden yo-yo for one year. it was a thing. i'll invite you to scroll back to the entries from 2012 at your leisure.

i'm not big on numerology or the importance of anniversaries or anything like that. anytime someone asked me about repeating the 1-fixie-1-year thing, i kind of responded that it was a great experience, but i'd already done it. however, as we approached this year, and as andre, colin and i talked about a possible eH, it became more and more clear that i really did want to go back to the well and throw myself back into a single wooden yo-yo for 2022.

there's lots of "why's".

by nature, i'm someone who is most at home stripping away complexity. i have 300 or so yo-yo's, but deep down, i'd like to be someone with just a handful. (i'm also nostalgic and i attach memories of people, places, and experiences to my yo-yo's, which is why i HAVEN'T gotten rid of them en masse.) fixed axle throwing (and what i've come to think of as 0a) is also the most authentic approach to yo-yoing for me. there's no technology or moving parts to hide behind, you get feedback on clean or sloppy technique IMMEDIATELY, everyone from serious throwers, purists, luddites, cats, and kids understand and appreciate it. and even more - hidden within its limitations is an entire universe of creative space.

i also want to reflect on and remember the first journey and feel the contrast. even before 2012 i was into throwing fixed hardcore. but a lot of it was about the challenge. i'd hit gyro flops or kamikaze, or else invent new 1a tricks on wood and feel accomplished. but playing with fixed axle's strengths (stalls, regens, stop n go's, flips, balances, early grabs...) all felt really nascent and the implications were just starting to hit me as 2013 approached. this year it will be impossible to ignore the context of the past 10 years - to see the arc (as well as the future) of the weird style my friends and i have tried to establish.

there's also an elephant in the room which it would be easy and less awkward to ignore: spirituality.

fixed axle has become almost a religion for me. (i find it obscene to talk about that stuff because it generally distills to our personal life experience, but it's also really tied to why i've stuck with this). the "state of yo" may have started as a punchline on the smothers brothers, but the experience of being utterly present in play - caught in the space between wanting desperately to hit the trick and being blissfully unaware of it - has changed me over the years. i've spent so much time in that quiet space that i can go there immediately, yo-yo or not. when i'm really playing, i fall away and drop a lot of the bullshit to which i often cling. i want to know more about that state and that dichotomy, and i access it easiest with a wood yo-yo in my hand.

i promise i'm not trying to evangelize anyone. if i felt the universe unlock while i was baking artisanal bread or stacking rocks on the edge of a river, then that's what i'd be doing for 2022. so i guess partly i'm doing this to realize (or remember) just WHY i'm a yo-yo player.

the deHcade turned out great. it imbues and synthesizes SO many qualities of the various releases we've done these past 10 years, and yet it's also a brand new thing. new width, new diameter, new crazy response groove... and yet the same old wonderful feeling. All the eH's have had a certain curve on the shoulder which has just felt perfect. i don't know what kinda voodoo colin's got, but i'm pretty sure he could whittle that inner rim to hub from memory by now. it's s a strange and sacred line.

so yeah. 1 year with this yo-yo. starting in like a week.

my dad asked if i was going to try to throw all my other yo-yo's in advance. not really. i'll toss a few. kind of a goodbye. kind of a high five. and then i'll put all of em into my IKEA display rack, lock it, and hand my 13 year-old the key to hide until 12/31/22. it's one day at a time until then. one throw at a time. but newsflash: it's only ever one throw at a time. each throw its own strange eternity.

thanks for reading.

home stretch

 today is a good day; the kind of day that gets me stoked to be a yo-yo player.

it got started right, watching some of my friends' freestyles from saturday's national yo-yo contest. it always feels nice when good people are rewarded. i've known zach, tyler, pat, and bryan for years now, and they're all such good folks who care deeply about performing pushing the game forward. i wish i could have been there, but i definitely feel like a better dad for having hung out at home for my girl's b-day weekend.

i brought both my kids to our local yo-yo club, where the toy store employees and i were the only players over 10. club is so hard these days with respect to playing wood. the kids don't get the challenge and aren't impressed by the difficulties of fixed axle. to them, yo-yoing is yo-yoing, just as it should be. regardless, club was fun. caitie hasn't thrown much lately, but she learned mach 5 after seeing it twice. it's awesome to watch some of the returning kids developing from tentative "power throws" to their first whip tricks and boings.

i also started to compile a little video of my 365yoyotricks.com vids for the end of the year. i generally don't like to watch my old videos, but i guess i thought it would be neat to look at footage from months back. it was. it turns out, i'm really proud of some of the tricks i've come up with this year (and the older ones which i've hit on wood). going back to some of the footage from january, when i was just starting to figure this yo-yo out, was surreal. so many sessions. so many spent strings. some of the videos call to mind exactly what i was thinking or stressing about; background radiation coloring a year of experiences. i've played SO MUCH this year. i can't even figure how many individual throws (or snap-starts, god help me). and clasped within the untold hours of footage on my hard drive are hilarious head-bonking misses, multiple moments where alex walks right through the shot (once even grabbing the camera), string breaks, axle-burns, sudden downpours... that stuff, more than the few takes where you nail the trick perfectly, really shows who you are as a yo-yo player.

my simple, sweat-stained oak yo-yo has been the primary constant in my life this year. the seasons have come and gone. my kids have grown up a ton. there's been upheaval at the school where i work. but the cotton string that's slid over my hemlock axles all year has tied things together nicely. i've had to tune and caress this yo-yo into its best possible state for every session. might sound like a pain, but that's what i signed up for. last fall, i felt myself not caring about the little things, and with the 'eh', the little things make or break you. same with life, really, though we do our best to ignore it.

it's hard to believe that this journey is over 75% complete, and that in about 12 weeks i can go back to 2-minute combos, axles that never wear out, and bearings that will keep spinning through any kind of mutated hold.

today, it kind of sank in. i'm going to make it. i'm going to have played one wooden fixed axle yo-yo for a year, straight. and while aspects of the commitment have been harder than i thought, i was right that this was the best thing in the world for me to do. i've said before that though playing with a yo-yo isn't epic or important, but using a yo-yo (or anything) to discover yourself and dissolve your illusions most certainly is. if 'cones to balls' challenged me to rethink the seemingly-trivial, this year has demanded that i rethink the absolutely-fundamental. and in rethinking the absolutely-fundamental, i've been relieved to discover that i still just really love to yo-yo. it's amazing to me that there IS so much to love about such a simple act, even when you're 35 and essentially out-of-touch. those rare moments in which we experience the pure, unmitigated glee of making good on our challenge to ourselves (which is what all yo-yoing is about, really) put into perspective the pettiness of the drama, bickering, and self-aggrandizement that would sometimes drag us down.

anyway, i hope it was a good day for you, too.

why i play yo-yo

i said i wanted to get back to basics.

so today, i was eating lunch at panera (having a bread-bowl of the french onion soup, if you want to know). i was thinking about some of my recent frustrations and the ongoing temptation to play with a bearing yo-yo after 8+ months with only the 'eh'. in my last entry, i noted that i kind of associate bearings with "ease" (and therefore, on some level, must associate wood or fixed axle with "difficulty"). whilst sipping fresh lemonade under an overcast sky, i asked myself WHY even a part of me would think or feel things in those terms.

i'm not a competitor - i have no contests to win or lose. i'm not aware of any extrinsic goal-sheet i've set up for myself; no list of tricks i'm ticking off. i'm just playing. at least so far as i know, i don't have any real criteria for either success or failure as a yo-yo player. i just play... but if that's the case, what can possibly be "easy" or "hard"... easy or hard to do what?!?!

i thought about the times when i've felt most "successful" as a yo-yo player; when it's felt most "right". i don't have a long list of titles or accolades to reflect upon, but the few things i've won (or not won) don't have any particular resonance for me in terms of when i've felt successful. i've put out some videos, some of which have been watched by a few people (some of whom have said they enjoyed them)... but even with the end-products i've really liked, i don't associate them with "success" as a yo-yo player either. by and large, the times i've felt most "successful" have occurred while i was PLAYING: casually, joyfully, and solitarily (that may or may not be a word, so how about "alone-ly").

there are definitely some specific sessions and tricks that come to mind; things that i've hit (especially on wood) that i tried and tried for before finally breaking through into some tactile understanding. but when i deconstruct those moments a bit, it's not so much "nailing" the tricks that's mattered. it's not the sensation of the yo-yo whacking the flesh of my palm after a clean fly-away... rather, it's an indescribable feeling of "connection" which i've found universally central to every momentary success i feel i've tallied.

there are those moments for which all of the universe seems to focus itself on what you're doing to enable it to work out in a way that feels "right". sometimes, it's just what you think you intended, and other times it's a big surprise. while i'm yo-yoing, i often find myself working on a sticky concept; something i think i can get or make work, but which is really outside the realm of what i fully understand. i've come to know the landscape of those emotions much better this year; the doubt, the effort, the frustration, and above all, the faith. you throw and you throw, and you think "i'm never gonna hit this"... but then suddenly, through in instant of serenity that seemingly willed itself into existence, you somehow know that you will. other times, in the midst of uncertainty, you find opportunity (hi, einstein!), and by the same amazing grace, you bust down the door into new creative territory which had never occurred to you.

i've hit so many tricks like that; discovered so many tricks like that. and i'm sure everyone has. the common thread that knits them all together is that sense of focus and connection with what i'm doing. it's as if i only get to really be 100% "at home" with myself in those moments, which are obviously ancient history as soon as the yo-yo responds.

except that the great thing is, the more you play, the more you realize that the connections aren't really gone at all. you can learn to feel your way into those moments; maybe not by straining and sweating to get there, but by relaxing and appreciating that your REASON for trying to nail the trick and the sense of calm focus which will eventually enable you to do so... are actually one and the same! it's available - it's there all the time... and realizing that makes yo-yoing much more personal, much more meditative, and ultimately way more productive.

i'm a better person because i play yo-yo. i used to doubt that sentiment; used to deflect onlookers' praise by saying stuff like "well, it's not like i'm doing anything great for society." don't get me wrong; you're not curing cancer by playing with your yo-yo, but if you can make yourself into a calmer, happier, more patient person... if you can recognize the signs of others around you who are struggling with the doubt and uncertainty of hitting this or that [metaphorical] trick and help them through that... if you can find yourself in a simple trapeze and just feel it - not just the yo-yo and the string, but the enormity of the cosmos, spinning and vibrating right along with you... i think your yo-yoing is pretty damn useful.

by practicing this stuff, you're not just idly "spending free time" as so many passers-by like to mention. you're breaking down doors within yourself. you're connecting yourself to the laws and forces which shape everything around us, from atoms to galaxies. you're shirking off the material limitations of your being and BECOMING the trick you're throwing down. within that larger framework, there's no reason why wood should be a limitation and no reason why metal should be a convenience. it's clear that the part of me that wanted this journey to be over so i can play with a bearing and hit this or that with "ease" had become a little lost and a lot disconnected from what's most important to me about playing.

whether with metal, plastic, wood, or terra cotta... i know i can find the way to play "like myself", which is the pathway to something greater. the contests are great, the sponsorships are great, the respect is great, the yo-yo's are great, and the friendships are (super) great. but as awesome as all of those things are, in the end, they're not why i keep throwing down. when i'm in the right frame of mind, lost in a trick without a care in the world for what i'm getting out of it, for a moment i don't know where i end and everything else begins. those are the moments i'm chasing, and that's why i play yo-yo.

(... *terra cotta 2013. let's do it, steve.) ;)


*not really

temptation and acceptance

with significantly greater frequency lately, i have caught myself REALLY wanting to throw a bearing yo-yo. the first 7 months or so of this endeavor pretty much passed without notable temptation. the 'eh' is a really good fixed axle yo-yo, and the challenge of figuring out how to set it up was an engaging one.

i've pretty much got the thing dialed now (after 8 months with it). i know just how to prep my axles so i don't burn through them immediately (i still carve a trench through them after a few weeks). i'm adept at sanding out chips and lining up grain to minimize vibe. i can tell how this or that string will respond before i put it on. most of all, i've got a much more deeply entrenched and intuitive sense for what i'm going to be able to hit with relative ease... and what i'm going to have to sweat (and sometimes bleed) for. i have a visceral understanding of its weight and tactile feeling, even when it's nowhere near me (which is virtually never).

while it's awesome to have developed such a deep connection with one yo-yo, it takes a bit of the mystery (and certainly the variety) out of the equation.

i miss the feeling of "ease" in yo-yoing, which is funny, because i've spent so much energy denouncing the idea that it should be easy. i'll be at club and the guys will be talking about this or that mount, and i'll be all "oh! that reminds me of THIS!!!" ... only to remember that i'd only be likely to nail "THIS" on wood after around 100 tries. going back to school has been rough, too. a lot of my kids have yo-yo's (big, mean, unresponsive metal ones)... and it's hard not to be jealous of their spin time! i keep thinking how fun it'll be when i get back from xmas break, able to bring a different yo-yo every day (especially the dynamo, ranchero, and orbitron, which i've only been able to heft and gawk at in awe).

by and large, the kids do NOT get it. "why do you always throw the same old wood yo-yo?" is a question i'm answering every day (often to the same few kids), and i find it's kind of a hard idea to explain to a 10 year-old.

"because it's a challenge."
"because i'm trying to push my yo-yoing in a more holistic direction."
"because although it's frustrating when things are hard, it can also feel deeply satisfying."
"because i feel like a more authentic player when i strip away the modern conveniences."

only the first of those is even momentarily acceptable to a kid who's trying with all their might to get trapeze consistent.

don't get me wrong; i'm not even considering backing out of the deal with 4 months to go. and honestly, i bet throwing metal again will end up feeling a bit anticlimactic after the first 10 minutes. i really do love what i'm doing and feel much more connected to the tricks i'm coming up with. i'm just at the hard part; more than half through the journey i described for myself, but still tens of thousands of throws before i'll let myself be free.

sometimes, you get in a bit of a rut, and you think "if only i could DO THIS or GO THERE", but i really think that reflects a messed-up mindset. my wife sometimes catches me checking the surf report (we live 200 miles from the ocean), and the other day she asked me "how much time per day do you think you wish you were doing something else?" it kind of caught me funny. i don't see myself as being dissatisfied or malcontent, but i do spend a lot of time thinking about things "i used to do" or "would like to do". surfing, skating, practicing aikido, being in hawaii or the tetons, rocking out in a band... i like to think i've had a pretty awesome life. i've been able to do some pretty fun (if not radical) things, and i like to feel connected to them, regardless of where i am now. maybe that diminishes my ability to appreciate here and now. i hope not. you make certain choices, and you live with them as you can.

regardless, i need to back up and really remember what the reasons for this whole year-long challenge were. i've taken a lot from the journey (in ways both expected and otherwise), and that i owe it the full ride is a given. i'm arriving at a simpler version of myself as a yo-yo player, and in a way which i could not have come to through any other means. so while i may say i miss bearings and i may check the surf report in wrightsville... here and now is still just fine.

chop wood, carry water.

Oathbreaking and Other Worldly Adventures

back home.

this has, without question, been the best summer ever. i say that at the end of a lot of summers (though not all of them). but this time for serious. between two trips to disney world, two weeks in hawaii, worlds, and a thousand adorable memories of my kids scraping knees, splashing in pools, and blowing bubbles as they feel their way through existence... 2012 is victorious.

worlds was such a spectacular time. as one of the old guys, it's so special to watch people grow up and grow into themselves while still remaining true to simple happiness (as yo-yoing is wont to cultivate). i will intersperse some pictures from the trip, beginning with this shot of sid, whose rosen-carpet camo shirt made his torso difficult to see.

this was the first time that i've taken only one yo-yo to worlds (technically i brought a backup of the 'eh', but never needed to use it). the complications inherent to my one-yo-yo-for-2012 adventure were immediately apparent as i pulled up to the rosen. tons of people wanted to try it, and everyone seemed to like and appreciate it, which made me happy. when they handed me their yo-yo's, however, all i could do was kind of stare at them and 'heft' them a bit. a couple kids wanted my opinion of this or that metal, and i had nothing to give them beyond 'it has a nice weight' or 'i really like this step here'. it was strange, and an aspect of this challenge i'll not miss.

this was also the first time that i've left the rosen so frequently. for whatever reason, i kept waking up early. since this is a sin and an abomination among most yo-yoers, and the only people in the event hall at 7am are those who haven't gone to sleep yet, i just kept walking and did some mornings at disney world, which, despite my obvious and debilitating addiction, i had never done alone! i've heard people say 'oh it's no fun without the kids,'... which is a complete crock. it's EXACTLY as much fun, just with less whining.

the contest itself is always less interesting to me than the silly little events which surround it. i don't mean to minimize the freestylers - i love the drama and artistry of the finals - but it's always very serious and tense, and that's not why i yo-yo. things like playing butterfly horse while having freestyle rap battles are a pretty solid metaphor for why i yo-yo (it probably shows). butterfly horse was amazing, and i did better than i thought, unseating rick wyatt in the semis. nate sutter was too much for me, however, and i flaked out on miggwave (formerly known as shockwave). had john bot performed his new experimental style (in which you throw through the collar of your sweatshirt with your arms connected), he probably would have won. also, YES, my participation implies that i cheated on my 2012 commitment. I DID PLAY A BUTTERFLY (actually 3 of them) IN BUTTERFLY HORSE. somehow, i feel like it's not cheating if it's something planned rather than impulsive... ok, it still is, but if that's the only asterisk on the year, i'm just fine with it.

anyway, i did better in the fixed axle throwdown (during which i went back to the 'eh'), which is my favorite event at worlds by far. over the years, the players have completely reinvented it to fit their desires, and now, it hardly resembles a traditional yo-yo contest at all (for which i am very thankful). it starts with the 8 best, most creative and dedicated fixed axle players we (or drew) can find. the 'wheel of penalty' decides a trick category (this year included 'unattached', 'repeater', 'pause', 'picturesque', 'big air', etc), and players vote with their shoes for the best trick. whatever its level of official sanctioning, winning it was pretty much the best thing i've ever done in [quasi-] competitive yo-yoing, and the trophies by 44rpm and TMBR Toys are so much better than the actual worlds trophies, it's kind of a disgrace (see below).
 

wheel of penalty is always memorable. i'm not sure how 2 not-chubby asian kids were able to withstand both team chubby lovin' AND the yeti, but i guess it happened! almost as entertaining was takahiro iizuka's accidental nap in the main hall. i don't think he had been asleep 2 minutes before people started building a chair-fort around him and stacking trash on his head. every year, some poor soul crashes at 3am to the delight of all. he was good about it.

the freestyles were fantastic. i wasn't universally able to pick the winners, but i think all of them were deserving (if that makes sense). my personal favorites were maya and tyler's 5a, brian's 4a, hank's 3a, shu's 2a, and harold's 1a. i'm always awed by how much guts and poise it takes to keep control on stage, but still be dynamic. every year, we get treated to freestyles like that, some of which earn trophies, and some of which do not... they deserve more than that, regardless.

kudos to my friend and teammate, sebastian brock, for organizing a exhibition of freestyles from competitors who didn't make it into finals. although i had already bolted and was passed out like a proper 35 year-old in serious sleep-debt, it's the best idea ever and, by was all accounts, a great way to end the event. the representation of team spyy was teeny (me, gary, sebby, and nate), but i think we made up for it with our enthusiasm. i love those guys.

i should mention that there was also a dance party after finals, which i did not understand at all (granted i am old, and cannot be expected to understand such things).

the elephant in the room was (and remains) prague. i'm not associated with the guys who are planning to reboot worlds in europe for next year, and i don't have much to say about that here... other than i think it will be an amazing contest, and that i think it's time for a change. yes, i had a great time at worlds, just like i do every year. yes, i'm very thankful for the work that greg cohen and his volunteers have put in over the years. i have benefited immensely from having worlds so convenient to me. but it's static. it's stagnating, and yo-yoing stagnates with it. now you have some awesome people who know modern yo-yoing and modern yo-yo contests and want to take the best aspects of worlds and make it even better AND provide exciting, potentially rotating venues to make it a truly WORLDwide event.

worlds collide

well... if all goes according to plan (which it occasionally does), 24 hours from now i should be freshly arrived at the rosen plaza hotel for my 5th trip to the world yo-yo contest. the hyponitic carpet (who knew tones of maroon and taupe could be so distracting), the cardboard pizza at the lite bite, the universally ignored swimming pool... and of course the teeming throngs of yo-yo players, slick with sweat at the prospect of demonstrating their mad skills to other like-hobbied hipster-nerds.

i love worlds, and with the prospect of this being the last one (of consequence) in orlando for awhile, i'm keen to enjoy it. this will obviously be the first time i've attended whilst throwing only wood, and it's funny to be packing for worlds and only bringing one yo-yo and a cone of string. i imagine the weirdest part will be the complete lack of trying out anyone else's yo-yo. a big part of worlds is the hardware, and while i'm excited for some of my friends who have new signature editions coming out... i don't much care about the new yo-yo's themselves (since i have no prospect of trying one for at least 5+ months).

spyy has some nice exceptions on the horizon, and i can't get my hands on the team edition orbitron 5000... even if just to heft it and say 'throw you in january'. plus, the new pistolero reboot, 'el ranchero' looks amazing, and if it's predecessor is any indication, will be an incredible player as well. i suppose i'll be excited to see red's new duncan barracuda and the mark allen sentinel by werrd, too.

my self-imposed exile has been going well. the 'eh' has been to hawaii. it's been to space mountain again (and will go again a few times during worlds for sure. it's picked up some nice scars and i've burned through a few axles. the only times i've been tempted to break oath, honestly, have been while i'm trying to teach something at club. it's SO much easier to teach string tricks with a bearing. i'm pretty incapable of really slowing things down using the 'eh', and some of my harder, longer tricks i can maybe hit only 1-2 times of 10 on fixed axle. in terms of actual play though, i'm pretty sure i could keep this up forever and not miss metal significantly, which has been a surprise.

i'm not competing at worlds (if it weren't obvious). i think it would be cool to see a serious fixed axle 1a freestyle with progressive stalls and stop n go's (and slack/whip elements) embedded within the prelims... but it's not going to be me, because i wouldn't care enough about the outcome to really push. it would be neat though, to see how the judges would react to 1a elements that are so far outside the norm. i'm signed up for ladder, but that's not really 'competition'; just fun (and with wood i don't expect to get far). the only contest (besides wheel of penalty) that i care about is the annual fixed axle throwdown, run by drew tetz, randy jansen, nate sutter, colin leland, and myself. those other guys really push the limits of the subspecialty, and i'm always amped to hang out and watch them play.

so tonight's the night. gonna pack the van, wake up at 5 or so, head down interstates 77, 26, 95, and 4 before rolling up i-drive and hanging out with so many of my friends. worlds is such a cool scene, in that it underscores what an interconnected tribe we are. doesn't really matter what language you speak or where you come from; if you have a yo-yo in your hand, you're 'in'. and all of the petty drama that we invent to keep the boards burning for the last 360 days or so is quelled by the fact that, in person, most people would really just prefer to be nice to each other and trade tricks than bad-mouth a company or be rude to another player. there are exceptions, but few and far between. it's a nice, chill little scene we've cultivated and i'm stoked for the chance to bask in it again.

hope to see you tomorrow!

LOST... but no big deal...

 
i lost my yo-yo. this is the first yo-yo i've lost in 20-something years of playing with yo-yo's (i admit that some i've broken and discarded; notably ALL of the midnight specials i threw religiously throughout my childhood).

this would kind of be a big deal for me, seeing as i'm only throwing the one yo-yo all year. i guess it could even be said that i've officially FAILED in my mission to throw one yo-yo for all of 2012... however, to those might say "that [yo-yo] was [his] last hope," i answer "no. there is another."

the 'eh' disappeared on 5/19, while i was waiting for my daughter to finish her second swim practice of the summer. i was hanging out on our pool's playground with my son. he was clambering on things and i was shooting the moon with equal glee, garnering the amazed attentions of a few kids hanging out nearby. we had picked up chick-fil-a for dinner, and alex had received some sort of round lantern for a toy (what kind of lame kids' meal toy is that?)... which was about the same size and weight as a yo-yo.

at some point i sat on the little picnic table under the gazebo, and i must have put the 'eh' down. with the aforementioned toy in my pocket, i apparently did not notice its absence when i got up. though i realized it as soon as i got home, it was not there when i went back. perhaps one of the kids who were so enamored of my trickery snagged it as i made my exit. perhaps they even though i left it behind on purpose.

in any case, though i was crestfallen to realize that my yo-yo was gone, it occurred to me shortly thereafter that there are worse fates which may befall a yo-yo than to be picked up by an excited child.

eventually, i accepted the inevitable; that i was not going to find the 'eh' in the short-term, and that i had to move on to phase 2. fortunately, when devising this scheme, both steve and i recognized that the ephemeral nature of a wooden yo-yo might preclude it from a full year of constant play. it's not unlike the sci-fi movie contact, where the billionaire benefactor reveals a second trans-dimensional space center after the untimely destruction of the first: "why have one, when you can have two for twice the price?" (thanks again, steve.)

i had put so much time and energy into doctoring my first 'eh' to play perfectly that when i made the switch, it was pretty striking. the wood was raw, white, and virginal. the sleeve needed to be sanded and "burnt in" in. the gap was all wrong and the axle too long. most of all, i just needed to play the hell out of the thing. every yo-yo is different, and when you're dealing with wood, even two yo-yo's of the same make and model will respond differently. regardless, the fact that there is no silver bullet (wow, what a pun), and no panacea for getting wood yo-yo's to work well is perhaps, what i find most compelling about playing them.

the last 3 weeks or so have been a blur of hard play. i've seen the oak soak in a great deal of my sweat and filth (and that of the world). i've made a video with it, and have made the segue into using it for my 365yoyotricks.com entries. it's survived a few walk-the-dogs on concrete and wooded trails (yes, i walk the dog - deal with it). i've handed it off to a few kids to try at our new "yolex" yo-yo club (not ideal since i then have nothing to throw!). it's gone on a few nice day-trips in the early summer and a jaunt down to disney for star wars weekends (during which i used it to show the darth vader the "darth vader" trick - impressive. most impressive.)

perhaps it's also noteworthy that writing this post has also been the most time i've spent online in a few weeks. i've found that spending time on the computer has made me feel really disingenuous lately. too much time cultivating or maintaining some kind of 'persona', and not enough time just being a person. i need to spend more time interacting with my family (or skateboarding, paddling, cutting the lawn, and otherwise embracing the real & here & now) than i do crafting pithy statuses, posting pictures that make me feel interesting, or polishing my own virtual effigy. i do try to be earnest and simple with these posts, so i thought it was a decent exception (ok, and especially for that vader pic).

so, maybe i failed to hang on to the original 'eh'. maybe i should be more broken up about it (i AM sorry i was so careless with it, steve). i'm a big believer in accepting consequences for one's actions though. i make a LOT of mistakes, and i don't always get held accountable to the extent that i should. i lost the 'eh' at a time when i kind of needed a series of wake-up calls. when life gives you those moments, you can either lie around bemoaning your fate or existence, or you can wind back up and get spinning again, truer and better than before.

you lose yourself. you find yourself... or start over.

a guided tour of the 'eh', and a new video

first off, here's a video! it's been forever since i put together a clip (and never with the "eh", so here goes! here it is on vimeo!



thought someone somewhere might be interested in looking more closely at the yo-yo steve made for me. here's a brief tour of the only throw i've known this year. in that first pic, you can see some of my favorite aspects, the grain and the engraving. the body is oak, which is porous. the perforated veins of xylem and phloem are easy to distinguish. the whole yoyo oaks up sweat like a rag, and in 4 months has developed a lovely patina. the engravings are about 1mm deep and easy to make out in any light. the only issue with them is that when they catch a fingernail, they will drag a chunk of it off. small price to pay.

(click the images for big)

here's the obligatory "open" shot. as you can see, it's a fixed wood axle yo-yo, with a replaceable axle kind of like the no jive's. these axles are made of hemlock, which is a bit soft, but has worked really well. i'm using duncan friction stickers for extra snap. i actually stick em on something flat and manually scratch off all of the tacky material, leaving only the linen (which is all that's needed with wood) before adhering them to the yoyo. both sides have built in dimples, but they don't really provide enough variation for adequate response on their own.

In this shot, you can see the only 'non-cellulose' material pretty well. the 'eh' has brass thread inserts and a steel axle. this makes it MUCH easier to maintain, and way more sturdy than all-wood construction. this is probably also the aspect which made the eh so difficult to get "just right", and why spyy would be loathe to make a production run of them. take-apart design still precludes me from any more "1955" contests at worlds, but the trade off of replaceable axles is necessary.




i'm using a special aluminum jig (not pictured) to sand my axles evenly. i've over-sanded a few of them. the last set steve sent me were quite long, so i can kind of 'guess and check'. too long, the gap is wide and you get loose winds and up loops. too short and you sacrifice spin time.





i'm still using the same old 'cones to balls' type 10 cotton string. this cone is definitely on its way out, but the stuff lasts so much longer than normal, thin cotton, that i rarely use more than one string a day. i'm pretty adept at twisting at this point, if i do say so. this year has really brought into relief the difference having good string can make. people make a big deal about having this or that poly for great whips or lacerations, but with fixed axle, even your sleeper suffers if you have the wrong stuff.


here's how the 'eh' compares with two relatively common shapes (or maybe they just USED to be common), a fhz and a no jive. it's definitely got more of a fhz profile. the edges are quite sharp, which can hurt on whacks, but i need every milligram of mass on that outer rim to get the most out of my spin.

so there you have it; the spyy "eh" in all it's glory. simplicity is truly bliss... or anyway, it's all i know!

stalling in the golden age

you hear a lot about "golden age" these days. a lot of it is just bs self-importance, but every now and then it rings true. sure yo-yoing has been around for generations, and we've already had any number of golden ages, really... but when i think about how i'll look back on this time, the past 5-10 years... i don't know. it's special.

i love the peralta documentary riding giants, and this section about the early days exploring the north shore of oahu is just golden (you should watch it - i'll wait). we don't have breaks in yo-yoing, we have trick elements. tricks are neither created nor destroyed; they're just discovered. once you find something unique and interesting, if you advertise it, others can go there. it can blow up like the banzai pipeline and become a place people go to test themselves.

in that context, i feel as though so many guys (and girls) are uncovering so much deeply personal territory right now. i don't think that we'll ever run out of material. with adaptations in technique and materials, creative people will always have somewhere new to explore.

this is an especially exciting time for fixed axle yo-yoing. there aren't many people really pushing themselves through it, but the people that are are fantastic. you have drew tetz with his butterfly and crazy acrylic punch out yo-yo's. you have colin leland, whose putting out the most exciting wooden throws in decades (and throwing killer tricks). as a result, you've got all these guys who have always been incredible with whatever yo-yo (nate sutter, miggy, gabe lozano, gary longoria...) battling each other in fixed axle horse.

stall tricks are a great example of undiscovered territory. the first time i can remember intentionally stalling a tug-responsive yo-yo was at the :50 mark of my first no jive video. since then, SO MANY stall tricks have become apparent it's ridiculous. it's particularly suited to fixed axle because of the response and the necessity of regenerating due to the ephemeral spin. bucket stalls, triangle stalls, new stop-n-go's, reverse-spin stalls... it's like finding an island of tricks that's been there forever but which everyone ignores. players are so concerned with how long their yo-yo spins that the idea of focusing on stopping it seems absurd.

i'm focusing on stalls, because it's a big part of what i like to do, but really, EVERY facet of yo-yoing is like this. sideways tricks have become a bit overblown in recent years (just like off-plane did before them), but that well isn't dry. for people who really want to find a new and different way to approach yo-yoing, the only restrictions are internal.

i think when we're all old yo-yo geezers, we'll look back on these days and perceive the unimaginable vastness of what lay before us, as yet undiscovered. we'll appreciate in a way that's impossible within the frenetic microcosm of today the purity with which we sifted through the possible. we'll look at the up-and-coming players and not dismiss their "post-new-school" tricks as ugly or derivative, but understand that we're all exploring the same unconquerable frontier, that every throw hides a piece of the mystery, and that every age is golden.

beautiful inconsistencies and the end of frivolous wandering

yesterday i had one of my first "structural" catastrophes so far. the 'eh' was lounging comfortably in the left pocket of my jean jacket, which was draped over a chair at the kitchen table. when i plopped myself down upon it, i felt the subtle, yo-yo shaped indentation a millisecond before the full weight of my posterior transferred itself. though i was proud of my reflexes, the damage had been done. on the next throw, something was off, and when you spend all of your time throwing one yo-yo, having something 'off', even by a little, is like a toxic splinter lodged deep within your mind.

the 'eh' had picked up a slight flutter, and i immediately realized that my ineptitude at the table had resulted in a very slight bend, either to the axle or (more critically AND more likely) to one of the set screws inside the halves. when i pulled out the replaceable axle (my last good one), i saw that it was warped like the tour. i've bent the bejeezus out of wooden yo-yo's before, but it's a little less stressful when you've got 50 other 3-in-1's just like it (and a near-unlimited supply of axles). with patience and intensity that i'm sure my cats thought were ridiculous, i bent the shape back as well as i could and changed the axle sleeve. i had to shim it and remove the dead sticker i'd been using because the gap was a bit on the thin side. it was a pity, because earlier, i had the thing playing perfectly.

so far, it's behaving. no real vibe or inconsistency, but yo-yo's don't heal, and if i screwed something up it'll show its face again. it's funny. if i ever have to switch to my backup, it'll really kill me to have worked in the finish so well. they are really two totally different yo-yo's now. not unlike the human condition, the fragility and transiency of a wooden yo-yo never ceases to inspire me.

years ago, jason tracy (one of the late 90's best yo-yoers and even more a wood fanatic than myself) told me that what he liked best about wood yo-yo's is the fact that you have to accept the inconsistency. your yo-yo is not going to feel the same on a hot, muggy day as it does on a dry, wintery one. a microscopic change to the axle or inside-profile, and tricks will go from being your bread and butter to straight-up unthinkable. i delight in developing the skill to minimize those issues, but it never goes away. and while i understand that most yo-yo players have gear on the brain so as to never have to worry about issues with consistency, the natural variability of wood is one of the aspects of yo-yoing i find most compelling.

with a bit of practice, anybody can surf in a wave-tank. always the same shape, temperature, lack of chop. but surfing is about coming to understand not so much the technique as the ocean. somedays it'll be big and burly. some days it'll be tiny and unassuming. very rarely is it 'perfect' (and when it is, you feel all the more blessed if you come to it through difficulty). it's about coming to terms with all of the vast factors outside of your control, and being the best version of yourself in spite of them. accepting your place not as master and commander, but just part of the "ocean"- the greater mystery - is what playing wood is all about.

the re-evaluation of my miniscule jurisdiction of control aside, one of the aspects of this project which i'm finding most challenging is my method for developing new tricks. there's a whole class of yo-yo tricks (like stalls and stop-n-go's and other regens) for which this sort of yo-yo is perfectly suited. i love those tricks, but i'm also trying to push my regular old 1a forward concurrently, and that's tough. this yo-yo sleeps fine for wood, but depending on the string and gap i'm using, i have about 20 seconds of MAXIMUM exploration time before i'm out of spin. (i might be able to eek out double that on a straight sleeper, but not if i'm making my way through some hold.)

as a result, the 1a tricks i'm coming up with are much less 'exploratory' and much more 'theoretical' (if that distinction makes sense). with a bearing, i'd follow the tried and true process of starting a trick or combo i know and purposely 'messing it up' to explore a new concept. i don't have time for that anymore. by the time i even know where i am, my spin is dying, and i have to see the exit like a chess game, a few moves ahead, or else try to complete the trick with a dead yo-yo (a technique i've seen henry dineen employ frequently).

today, while lying in bed and listening to npr, i worked out an entire trick in my head, from mount to flyaway. i've been trying to do something new with escolar's pure143 mount for weeks, and i dunno... i guess something about the rick santorum story really inspired me to focus on... anything else.

i went downstairs with a whole trick in my head, but no idea if my tools (or skills) were up to the holds. i've definitely done this with individual moves before, but never a complete trick, and it was pretty neat to have the whole concept together before i even threw down (particularly since i'd been grappling with the entry). it took me over an hour to get through a 10 second trick, but it was so rewarding. as a yo-yoer, i've never really been much of a theoretician. i try stuff, and since most of the stuff i try is extremely short and to-the-point, it doesn't require much in the way of forethought. i just do it till i land it, and if i happen to find a new path along the way, i'll stroll down and check it out. now that i no longer have the capacity for such idle meanderings, i can feel my trick ideas becoming more focused and centered. it's neat to have necessity dictate the terms of your approach to a new trick.

i've never really thought that yo-yo tricks need to have a 'point', and yet my tricks' content are suddenly dependent upon them, as idly 'following leads' runs me out of gas every time. it's one thing to call out a mount and then synthesize real-time feedback as you see and feel where it goes in front of you. to connect an entry, a series of holds, and a relevant escape and THEN get it under your fingers is a skill for which i find myself grossly (and delightfully) unprepared.

i could have told you that this experience would cause me to reevaluate aspects of my playing, but i could never have predicted which aspects those would be. even after years of playing wood, it never really occurred to me how dependent i was, creatively, upon using a bearing yo-yo to figure out ideas before migrating the technique to more a difficult medium.

in other news, my friend Luke Hildebrand sent me one of his yo-yo creations, which i received in the post this afternoon. a 1-piece cocobolo beauty with embedded buffalo nickels, i can safely say that this is the first yo-yo i've been tempted to play since i started with the 'eh'. i think they're sold out at hildybros.com, but you should check out the blog regardless.

1/12 of the way to forever

well... february. it's officially a month. technically a bit more since i started before xmas. i'm not sure what the longest period i've ever played only one yo-yo has been, but i'm certain i've eclipsed it.

i'm very excited about yo-yoing. i feel as though i'm closer to the core of how i "mean to play" than i ever have been. i was a little nervous about just doing the same tricks over and over, but i LIKE to play so much that i'm coming up with things that amp me by accident. that's the way it should be. i blame part of that increased sense-of-stoke on 365yoyotricks.com. watching my pals throw down big tricks every day (and no lack of them fixed axle) makes yo-yo doldrums incomprehensible.

i'm struck by the fact that i really haven't had a reason to touch or even look at other yo-yo's during this time. i compared my 'eh' and its developing patina (do you call it 'patina' if it's wood?) with my backup (which sits idly on a rack). it's amazing the dirt and joy that just a month of play can enclose within porous oak. i am not a delicate person, and i do not always treat my 'nice things' with appropriate care. i asked steve for this yo-yo knowing it would have to become an extension of my body, and i'm not really happy if my body isn't being beat up a bit. as such, the 'eh' has seen its share of spills and tumbles, caroming off of concrete and brick... occasionally running into an oblivious passer-by ("i never hit anyone accidentally" - great 'quarter trick' line).

lately, i've shifted back to my old type 10 'cones to balls' string. the cone, given to me by steve brown, still has some heft, and the string encircling it retains all of the spring and snap it must have had when it was originally wound in some lost age. i've scorched through a few axles, and snapped a few strings. i'm feeling good about how i've dialed the gap and response into reluctant harmony.

my kids at school do not understand, and i'm kind of glad of it. they ask me why the same yo-yo every day, and why wood, and why no bearing. my best answer is that i wanted a challenge (the more complicated truth that 'it's the path toward how i want to play' is not how you answer a 10 year-old asking about a yo-yo). to them, triple or nothing is a challenge. a single, staccato eli-hop is a challenge. a decent, stable sleeper is a challenge.

somewhere, deep inside each of those things, there is a challenge for me too. the challenge of throwing a sleeper and really living within the ephemeral friction... embracing the anxious reality that every eli hop could impotently miss the string... the challenge of really BEING THERE as the yoyo revolves in sacred ellipses, falling toward the string on triple or nothing. i want to hit hard tricks. i want to make up hard tricks. but what i'm noticing is that with bearings, i tend to miss the simple stuff. not that i fail to hit the tricks, but i fail to take notice of them. the simple beauty of a well-executed ripcord or the thwack of a flyaway. the smell of an axle you've set smoking and the feel of wood chastising lackadaisical knuckles. it just feels more real and contiguous than ever to me right now.

living and playing in this way, a month kind of snuck up on me. will a year do the same? and then what? if tomorrow were 12/31/12, i would have no desire to go back to ball bearings. i don't care for how they sound. i don't care for how they feel. i don't care for the complacent, take-it-for-granted way that i find myself playing them by comparison. my friends pull it off, but it makes me feel like a phony. i'm not a big proponent of 'forever'. i think 'right now' is the real commitment, the ultimate challenge, and the greater underlying purpose to this exercise in indulgent self-exploration...

but so far... so very good.

string-ball 2

so i've been at it a week.

so far everything is hunky-dory... ducky, as it were. there are definitely a few short tricks that i had down on metal yo-yo's that i simply can't do on wood (mostly protracted combos i made up), and a metric ton more that take major concentration. i don't 'miss' being able to throw without the need to be fully committed to every trick, but i definitely notice it. i can eek out an 17-18 second 'trick' on this yo-yo so far. haven't tried a long sleeper, but i'd bet my max right now is about twice that long.

besides the time/spin constraint, wood reminds you that it's perpetually prepared to snap back on you. pretty much every 'reasonable' trick (i.e. no triple-lindy's or crazy layers in the gap) can be worked through with mega-aggressive response. you just have to know the how to 'see' the string formation in a way that reveals where the slack will play near the axle. by 'slack', i don't mean a big section of string swinging lazily through the air; i mean the circumference about 1mm above the axle that starts the response chain-reaction. getting back in tune with that little zone has been fun, especially since it's been limited to getting to know the dimensions of a single yo-yo.

i started a string-ball this weekend, from the discarded cotton strings i'd left on our guest bed (you're welcome stacy). i've been using type 8 cotton mostly. i have a skein that feels just right, but it only lasts about half as long as my type 10 cone. as a guess, i think i'm getting about 45m of throw-time before the string looks raw and decrepit around the axle. the dead duncan friction sticker i've added for augmented snap definitely accelerates the string's demise. from how i'm starting off, i think this ball will be significantly larger than the one i generated from cones to balls, but we'll see.

i haven't considered being 'unfaithful' yet. my yo-yo room is still fun to be in despite not being able to reach for any of the throws therein. that said, i have almost thrown a few other yo-yo's. when in my daughter's room the other day, i noticed she left a projam on the floor, and i reached down to pick it up. i was moments away from giving it a perfunctory throw down before i caught myself. at school, a student asked to give the 'eh' a toss, and when i gave it to him he handed me his solaris. i'm so used to the ritual of momentarily trading yo-yo's at contests and club meets, that i had started to put on the slipknot before i realized it. the weirdly alien feeling of holding metal for the first time in almost 3 weeks is what jolted me out of the routine.

more later. must throw.

resolution

i've never been one for new years resolution. i guess i'm of the 'calvin & hobbes' mindset that the rest of the world should resolve to bend itself more to my own likeness. not really, but everyone is like that on some level (which is why it's a funny comic).

this year though, i have an obvious one, and it's caused me to be a bit more reflective and try to impose some more upon myself. so here we are. starting tomorrow, i resolve to:

• throw one wooden yo-yo for the entire year of 2012 (or until the world ends, whichever comes first). see previous entries for details.
• completely give up drinking soda pop. i've done this before, but always seem to squeak little exceptions by myself until i find myself holding an empty 64oz 'thirst-slayer' from 7-11.
• keep a journal by my bedside wherein i will write down all the foods i ate during the day. i don't really want to diet; i just want to be more aware of what i'm taking in.
• sit an hour of zazen per week. i have become lax in this practice.
• work on my iai kata at least twice a week, lest i forget how to tie on my hakama.

as for the 'one yo-yo' bit, which is clearly most pertinent to this blog, i last threw a bearing yo-yo on christmas eve. i thought about doing some sort of elaborate 'goodbye bearings' 11:59pm thing, but it would be superfluous. i'm sure the time will come this year when i sincerely miss throwing my other yo-yo's, but right now i'm still really excited to be narrowing everything down to the simplicity of the spyy 'eh'. i've been throwing it almost non-stop since i got it, and i'm as enamored of it as i could be any yo-yo.

it's going to be tough with all of the temptation i have in our 'yo-yo room' (see pics embedded throughout). i have no idea how many radical yo-yo's i have on display or in storage. a few hundred i guess. and though i feel like i should make some kind of elaborate gesture in bidding them adieu for the year, it just feels silly. i don't want to lock them up in a closet. i want the temptation (and to overcome it).

so i guess, 11:59 is going to come and go without much changing at all. i'll keep throwing the same yo-yo i have for the last week, perhaps a bit more excited to be 'officially' beginning on a journey, the end of which is unclear. i don't have any goal in mind for how i will play at the end of it, or for whether i'll want to go back to ball bearings (or other woodies) in 2013. this is about coming closer to who i feel i am as a yo-yo player, about determining what i need and where i want to go, and about stepping off of a path that i feel is adequately trodden without my footsteps.

first touch.

the eh arrived this morning around 11:02est. steve included the backup, along with a couple of other spyy treats (which i'll only get to enjoy for a few days before the journey officially begins) and a nifty jig for evenly sanding axles to desired length.

the entire parcel smelled like burned wood (steve lasered these just a day ago). the smell will gradually fade, and i'm sorry for that because it's wonderful. on a throw, the eh is incredibly smooth. it doesn't spin quite as long as my tmbr irving pro (which sports a wider profile & diameter and a walnut axle), but it's smoother and snappier.

as soon as i felt the spin, first trick i tried was spirit bomb, which is the string trick i use to evaluate pretty much any wood yo-yo. video here. it surpassed expectations. the oak is pretty slick and felt just a little loose on flyaway dismounts, so i've sanded a couple of the replaceable axles and am in the process of getting things dialed. pretty confident that i can hit whatever i want on it, though maybe that's the new-yoyo hubris talking.

it's a huge relief to have the thing in my hand and know that i can make it work how i want and make it last.

SPYY 'eh': completion

this guy is leaving his home in canada tomorrow and will arrive the 23rd (merry christmas, me)!

made of solid oak, take-apart design, and replaceable hemlock axles, this is it. this is the yo-yo i'm using for the entire year of 2012. i do have an identical backup if i should destroy one utterly, but both of my glued-axle oak spyys are still kicking after 6 months, so i should make this guy last.

these are not for sale. they are not being produced. making this kind of fixed axle yo-yo is time consuming and not cost-effective. i have a spare and steve has one of his own, but beyond that, there are no plans to revisit this on any kind of scale. my apologies if you were hoping they'd be on yoyoexpert for $19.99 or something.

there's a great chapter in the book 'the princess bride' by william goldman (the book is arguably better than the movie, which is a classic), in which background is given for the character, inigo. though it didn't make the film, it describes his life as the son of a master swordmaker living quietly in the hills above toledo. domingo montoya makes the greatest swords since excalibur, but, in the effort to avoid attention which might detract from his craft (he doesn't call himself an artist), he allows another maker to sell his swords as his own.

somehow it gets out to a rich swordmaster that domingo is the real deal, and count rugen shows up requesting a sword which would match his 'peculiarities'. domingo denies having any great skill and tries to persuade rugen to visit yeste in madrid, until rugen shows his 6-fingered right hand. then it's on. not only does domingo admit to being the 'genius of the hills', he accepts the job for nothing (allowing a single gold-piece as a deposit, at rugens urging), and tells the count to 'come back in a year'.

then, for the next year, inigo watches as his father essentially beats himself into ruin in making the sword. he took the job due to the implicit challenge of making a perfect sword for a 6-fingered hand. for an amateur, any long-handled cleaver would be fine. but for a master to reach his potential, the entire sword would have to be reimagined from the ground up. all of the measurements would have to balance each other seamlessly. in the end, after peaks of elation and valleys of terrible frustration, inigo wakes in the night to find his father staring, becalmed, at his creation. 'finally, inigo,' he says, 'i am an artist.'

i'm not a master. i don't have 6 fingers. i'm also not going to kill steve like rugen did domingo and provoke the eternal revenge of his sons who would eventually do me in (god, i love that movie).

in terms of how this whole affair pertains to steve's craft, though... i feel like there's some balance. i went to him with what i thought was a simple request; to basically punch out a few more wood halves from his drill press. he did like a hundred for his wedding. we cranked out 12 or so in an hour at canada nats. he could have settled.

instead, he hit it with trial and error for a month, working late into the night and giving up his lunch breaks to make, essentially, the best all-wood yo-yo he could. everybody has something they really care about (or everybody should). i think in some aspect of our lives, we all need to adopt that stance of 'no-compromise' to arrive at our potential (as craftsman, as artists, as yo-yoers, or just as people). compromise is not a bad thing, but in terms of our approach to ourselves; our self-improvement and sense of self-worth, it's a tantalizing poison.

i guess this whole project germinated from the idea of no-compromise (of a different sort), and i'm thrilled that the same spirit was present through the birth of this yo-yo.