it's supposed to be hard

merry fixed axle february, everybody! 

it's funny to realize that "faf" has been a thing for so long now. i remember it's first upstart incarnation and the contests which sprang from it, as well as the original "fixed friday" tags used by nathan martsolf. (while we're on the subject i remember the first time i saw a "trickcircle" on insta... when the term transitioned from an informal contest hangout to ray g and sonny using it to post awesome 15s content. it's weird to have watched elements of our microculture evolve from curious anomalies into foundational pillars of our communication.

2/1 also marks the end of my first month of this little journey. it's almost eerie how little i've missed throwing bearings (or even a diversity of other wood throws), especially given that i walk past my locked display case every day - a strange yo-yo time-capsule in my dining room. 

i make it a point to throw a little every day. i'm not sure if it brings me back to myself or gets me AWAY from myself. maybe either, depending on the day. but it's nice to know which yo-yo is in my pocket and to feel more accustomed to its shape and texture each day, along with the way it spins and responds.

one of my kids at school asked why i always have the same yo-yo lately and i tried to explain it. their response was "right but why, when you have 100's of yo-yos would you only play that one?" the idea of self-imposed restriction in such a frivolous context just doesn't compute. why make it harder on yourself? if you have every kind of surfboard, why would you restrict yourself to just one - and one of the hardest to ride at that? (maybe to make it more about the wave and who you are in relation with it? maybe to settle more deeply into your understanding of what it MEANS to ride a wave?)

i've frequently made the point that fixed axle yo-yos are naturally a bit unpredictable. a bit fickle... sometimes downright difficult. you have to put a lot of attention into them just to execute the simplest string tricks while keeping them from snapping back at you. and i see those aspects of it as a tremendous benefit because they force me to be more PRESENT and they force me to grow. but i'm often guilty of neglecting the fact that some players (most players) play yo-yo to ESCAPE things like difficulty, frustration, and chaos. they have enough of that in their day-to-day lives. if your outlook is that yo-yoing is supposed to be for fun, then the idea of intentionally making it more difficult or intentionally restricting your access to a single difficult yo-yo - at least at first - can seem downright dumb.

meanwhile if your yo-yo is a more of a meditation tool... if tricks are places you go to be honest with yourself... if you're trying to get closer to the forces which govern reality and brush up against failure and frustration, where to hit the trick you have to kind of disappear into it... then a fixie is where it's at and the idea of focusing on a single one might not feel so strange. electric guitars don’t need to pull the strings hard across the instrument’s top to produce an audible sound. so you can set them up to play with almost effortless ease… but if your goal is to HEAR the air inside an instrument explode as the tones are created, then you have to embrace all the mercurial difficulties of an acoustic instrument. nature of the beast.

and the thing is, you CAN start to feel peace in the midst of difficulty, just like (as i mentioned in the last post) you can find space in the limitation. you CAN interpret the signs of progress through the frustration. the failure starts to feel less like something to be afraid of and more an integral part of the process - a teacher. i would never claim it’s more meaningful - it’s just the journey i’m on.

wishing one and all a lovely fixed axle february. 

throw hard and love each other.

and hey if you haven't already seen it, i'm running a little contest all month long on the yoyoexpert.forum. if you can hit the 7 tricks i've listed on video and post them in the thread, you'll be entered into a random drawing to win a DeHcade yo-yo! the tricks aren't super easy, but you've got time. 

(and a little difficulty is ok.)